“Few years back I was struggling with the issue FEAR, wow! I mentioned it with bold letters as it is so big!
Since I was a little girl,I started experiencing it but as we all think and say FEAR is not a thing. We don’t take it seriously at all.
But every night and whole night I used to hold my mother’s hand to sleep but I wasn’t able to because of the fear I had in my heart.
I grew up with these feelings and then the time came when I was moving to different city where my mother wasn’t there with me to hold my hand during the nights.
This FEAR start to increase, though I was staying with prayerful family but I was alone in my room at night and often struggled to sleep.
I was over powered by fear and struggled to be alone any time of the day. I used to sit on a chair the whole time until the family came back and I used to keep all the lights on, no matter if it was night or day.I started feeling so alone, unhappy and lost my peace and joy.
I wasn’t able to sleep and I wasn’t able to share what I was going through and what I was feeling.”
Because FEAR is funny not a serious thing. Right?
Everytime I shared my struggles with others, I was teased, they made fun of me. This was funny for them but wasn’t for me.
No one understood my struggle and I felt that I am being judged because of the questions that people used to ask about my struggles “Karishma! How can you be so fearful you are a 20 Year old girl not a Child, don’t you love God? Don’t you have Faith? Don’t you follow Jesus? And why are you not trusting Jesus?
I was crying and praying continuously and asking God to help me but I stopped sharing my struggles with people.
One day I met a friend who knew me as a joyful person and she asked me, “How are you girl?” I am fine “I replied”.
She started looking at the floor and looked at me again and said, ” Karishma how are you?” I looked at her and my tears started coming out and I just nodded my head for NO!
I wanted to tell her I wasn’t okay, I haven’t slept well from a long time, when I am alone I don’t enter in my room, I sit in common room with all lights on and continuously watch TV but I wasn’t saying anything then with a low voice I said, “Can I share with you something but you have to promise me, you will not tell anyone and will not make fun of it.” She held my hand and assured me , then I shared with her what was happening and I was continuously crying but she listened to me very patiently as she really cared and didn’t leave my hand and once I was done talking,she just encouraged me with few kind words and said, “Can I pray for you?” Later she said, “Do you want to meet me ones a week? So we can pray together and talk through all what you are going through.”
She was the first person who heard me and felt my pain, later she and her husband, counseled me for fear for almost 18 months and I was able to open myself to them because I knew that they were not judging me instead they were praying for me and with me!
We all need that person, who can pray for us and with us.
I was continuously loosing my hope and there was even a time which I only shared with this lady and her husband,I said to them,”what is the point of living like this,having a fearful life.” (Of course I wasn’t thinking to end my life because I was continuously praying for myself and God wasn’t letting any bad thoughts to come in my mind) but everyone doesn’t have that.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11”
I was thinking God wasn’t listening me but now when I look back, I can see that he was preparing me so I could experience this and so I could understand the people who go through the same pain.
Now when someone comes to me and tell me about it, I know how it feels.
Because God had and has a plan for me.
After a long counseling through God’s word and prayers I was healed and I realised that when I had to stay all alone in a big house for few days.
I was so comfortable, in peace and I was staying with my joy.
My mentor always said, Karishma until you are alone you won’t know if this fear has gone.
Word says:
The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles.
Psalms 34:17
If we ask his help, he is faithful and just to help us and provide us what we need.
As he sent my friend and her husband in my life to help me.
I still feel fearful but it’s not what I went through.
Please give people some grace when you get to know that someone is going through some emotional challenges. Listen to these people who are looking for a person who can lead them, guide them and understand them.
And, give yourself a grace too so you can go to a person you trust and share what you are feeling and going through.
Recently a brilliant young actor Sushant Singh Rajput from Bollywood who had lot of potentials in him ended his life. Now people has started talking about Mental Health and issues of depressions. He felt that the best way to deal with his struggles is to end his life.
Doesn’t that happens to us sometimes?
We look great, people love what we do, people love us but do we really love ourself?
I asked many people about…
What do they think about suicide?
Why do people end their life?
..and I got many different answers and views…
Some said weakness.
Some said lack of joy, happiness and peace.
Some said depression.
Some said these people have no hope.
And so on…
And in a way these are true too but how can we have the joy, happiness and peace which would not leave us?
Is it okay to kill ourselves when Bible clearly says killing is a sin?
Of course not!
The true Joy, happiness,peace and hope we can only get through Jesus.
Bible also says,
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
I don’t know if the people who commit suicide are weak or what but I know that they feel so alone and lonely and they stop being happy and that’s why they end their own life.
Jesus is the way, the truth and the life.
Walk with him on his WAY with your TRUTH and he will surely give you a LIFE with happiness, joy and peace.
And the happiness, joy and peace he will give you, no one will be able to take it away from you.
Suicide is a sin because murder is a sin. Life is gift of God and its not to end in suicide.
Suicide is not a planning, it is a thought.
Which comes to our mind and if we don’t know how overcome it, this overtakes us.
Come to God with your broken heart and he is able to heal it.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
Psalms 34:18”
If you are loosing your joy, happiness and peace please call on to God and he will rescue you!
If your heart is broken for anything,please come to God and he will provide you the best help and lead you through the storm of your life.
Sometimes he calms the storm you are in and sometimes he calms you during the storm you are in.
Just like me, first he calmed me and then he calmed the storm of my life.
You will never know what people around you may be going through inside.
Dear ones, during this Lockdown Pandemic,loneliness and uncertainty is terrible.
Please reach out to someone you feel might be lonely and struggling.Just listen to them patiently and pray with them.
Do’s
1. Stay Socially Connected.
2. Talk about your feelings and struggles to someone.
3. Be entertained, Watch and listen to Positive Music and TV.
4. Develop a healthy routine. Exercise, Pray, Going to bed on time and waking up early etc.
5. Good Humour and fun time with friends and family is really helpful.
Don’t
1. Don’t be quite about your Mental State and struggles.
2. Avoid saying discouraging statements and negative criticism.
3. Do not Hurt someone’s feelings.
4. Do not judge others or compare.
(Comparison is a dangerous territory)
6. Do not be alone for a long time.
Still if you feel discouraged and is struggling with something.
Hey!! LET ME TELL YOU I AM HERE FOR YOU; GOD LOVES YOU UNCONDITIONALLY.
There is nothing impossible for God.
Trust him with all your heart.
Blessings
By: Karishma George
